Honors Prompt #4

Monday Meditation 

I promised my self one thing: “Tonight I will meditate,” I thought.  “Tonight will be like yesterday, just pay attention to you…Izzy” I sit outside on my patio made of tan bricks and cold cement. I sit up straight and do a cycle of the shoulder rotations then settle in my frame. I take a huge breath of almost nine seconds each way and then create a more repetitive beat, counting six with each inhale and exhale. A few (what it seems to be) minutes later my eyes open up with absolutely no desire. The light rain has begun to fall and my previous calmness and concerns vanish. I close my eyes again and re-focus on the purposes I had intended for this couple of minutes of silent relaxation. I start over. I begin with one, then to two, and three, four, five, six and seven, and hold and exhale with the same counts and the same devotion. I begin to enter that state I have previously explained, or tried to. The state when I do not know the difference between noises in my mind, and noises in my world and the state where I cannot notice if what I feel on my skin is real or not. I continue to breath and to count; however the numbers become bleached into my soul and I no longer can hear my internal voice. I feel the rain getting harsher and more frequent. With each drop I feel on my breaths getting deeper and more personal. My mind has become empty and I start to notice my surrounding again. The rain then lightens, and my vision does too. I flutter my eyes open expecting to have water inundate my eyeballs and it does not. Now, maybe the rain has truly lightened, or maybe I am more in touch with nature than I had though. 

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